• Laura L. Van Tassel, Esq.

Mother’s Day 2022: A Message for Divorced and Separated Moms and Dads,



Mother’s Day (May 8th) is almost here, and I have a message for all those moms and dads who although are no longer together, do still raise their children together.


My message is this; Instead of turning your Mother’s Day into a power struggle, battlefield, or statement about who is the better parent let’s think about what kind of experience you want your children to have.


Life has been so crazy the last few years, let’s make this Mothers Day one for your kids to remember fondly no matter what.


Here are a few ideas:



MOM:


If you are lucky and get to spend this day with your kids consider:


  • A walk or bike in nature — Switch off your phone and set off on a family adventure.


  • Plan a picnic — It’s the perfect opportunity to put together a picnic filled with your and your kid’s favorite foods and find a cool spot in your local area to enjoy it together.


  • Set up a scavenger hunt Get the kids involved in putting together a scavenger hunt list. You could do this in your backyard or on a walk. Play independently or divide the family into teams and race to complete the list.


  • Start a garden of your own — Now is the perfect time to plant summer flowers. Set up a new Mother’s Day tradition by planting a selection of different flowers in your garden. Perhaps each of your children could plant a different kind. Every time you see them flower, they will be a reminder of the special day — it’s the gift that keeps on giving!


If they are not with you;


  • Spend time with your mother. No matter how old you are, you are still her child and she will love your time and attention.


  • Make a plan for the day and find supportive friends and share the day with them.


  • Consider taking a mini trip somewhere.


  • Choose to give back to others which takes the focus off yourself. Volunteering is a way to feel fulfilled, particularly if the kids are with dad and a new stepmother.


  • Some nail salons are open on Sundays, so a manicure and pedicure can be just the ticket to raise up your spirits.


  • Sometimes there are free concerts or fairs on this day which are fun to attend with a friend.


  • Just do something to distract you and celebrate YOU. You deserve it!




DAD:


Co-parenting is not always easy, but let’s set emotions aside. Let’s try to keep children out of the middle by taking a mental oath to avoid all manner of conflict-related to this special day and instead get set to up a win-win by honoring their moms.


Scheduled Parenting Time — If this Mothers Day doesn’t fall into their mom’s scheduled parenting time, consider adding it as a bonus day that doesn’t have to be made up.



If they are with you;


  • Set up a scavenger hunt — I love the idea of setting up a scavenger hunt ( like I mentioned about) but your version can include items like finding a flower to give to their Mom. Or you could try a photo scavenger hunt where instead of finding and bringing home objects, children take a photo of them and send them to her.


  • Help your children make or buy a card and/or gift for their mother — There are so many different websites where they can get personalized gifts for their mother, which helps them to show their appreciation, and allow adequate time for your children and their mother to celebrate.


  • Reserve the primary celebration of Mother’s Day for your child’s mother — While you may want your children to be considerate and remember grandparents, stepparents, or other extended family members on these days, it should not be in place of observing Mothers Day with mom.



Happy Mother’s Day to all you wonderful MOMS! 💐




Van Tassel Law — A Kinder Approach To Life's Legal Issues.


Here at Van Tassel Law, I always keep your best interests in mind, as well as those of your children, in order to ensure success for both individuals and the family as a whole. If you live in NJ feel free to contact me at Van Tassel Law so we can speak about your situation and evaluate your case before you spend one dime emotionally or financially.