When people hear the word divorce first thought that usually comes to mind is combative and destructive. Although some may think that this notion of a good divorce is impossible, I know it is within reach of the majority of divorcing couples.
Bitterness is not a necessary part of the process of divorce. Fear of loss and loneliness, sadness, anger are, perhaps, inevitable. But the destructive behaviors that poison post-divorce communication is more often the product not of the decision to divorce, but of the adversarial process still used by most people to get divorced.
Mediation is a non-adversarial divorce process that allows spouses to create the blueprint for their post-divorce life in a less costly and less contentious setting. When spouses have come to the difficult conclusion that their marriage is over, they can still decide to have a “good divorce,” can focus on the best interests of the children, and can treat each other with compassion and respect; after all, what started in love can and should end with respect.
7 Ways Divorce Mediation Leads To A Good Divorce
1. Mediation puts children first.
Mediation takes a child-centered approach. Mediation is a facilitative process that assists the parents in creating their co-parenting plan. And why wouldn’t you and your spouse be the ones to make the important decisions that will affect your children? After all, nobody knows your children better than you.
2. Mediation is more peaceful.
Conflict is inevitable, but combat is optional. Divorce isn’t fun, but it doesn’t have to be a fight. Trained mediators can help couples keep the peace by focusing on the future and not the past.
3. Mediation lets you control the timing.
When the Court is in control, the divorcing spouses are not. Court dates, subpoenas, depositions are all scheduled with little attention to your work or personal obligations. Mediation gives both parties the power to control the timeline, not the court. Mediation sessions occur when it’s convenient for both spouses. (weekly, bi-weekly, or even monthly basis), whatever works best for the both of you. When everyone has the time he or she needs without pressure or time constraints, decisions can be made with more clarity.
4. Mediation is empowering.
When spouses agree to mediate, they retain the power to make decisions. Mediation allows you and your spouse to explore all the options and find the resolutions that will best serve you both and most importantly, your children.
Trained mediations ensure that the participants have all the information they need to be well thought out decisions.
5. Mediated agreements have higher compliance rates.
Maintaining the ability to make your own decisions assures you and your spouse will “own” the agreement and therefore, comply with it. Aren’t you more likely to comply with decisions you made than those imposed on you?
Divorces resolved with mediation have higher compliance rates than those resolved through litigation because you and your spouse made the decisions, not lawyers and not judges.
6. Mediation results in more thorough agreements.
The mediation process ensures a thorough, well-drafted final agreement.
A trained mediator has the goal of guiding both parties to make educated and informed decisions. With that goal in mind, the provisions of an agreement are reviewed in great detail, with revisions being made until both parties are satisfied. The assistance of review counsel also assures that all provisions will be drafted well.
7. Mediation is private and confidential.
Courtrooms are public; even in this virtual world, court hearings are still open to the public. Mediation is private.
At Van Tassel Law, I believe in a kinder approach to life's legal issues
If you live in NJ feel and would like more information regarding Mediation stop by Van Tassel Law to learn more or if you need assistance with a divorce plan, feel free to call me at (201) 664-8566 and schedule your initial confidential consultation.