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  • Laura L. Van Tassel, Esq.

My Spouse Doesn't Want A Divorce, But I Do.

It doesn’t matter whether you are a man or a woman. If you find yourself wanting a divorce when getting divorced is the last thing your spouse wants to do, you are not alone. When marriages fall apart, it's pretty typical that one partner wants to end it and the other does not.

So, although you may be thinking “ What can I do when my spouse doesn't want a divorce"? The real question you should ask is, “How to go about it without making any already difficult situation worse”?

It’s hard to face the reality that divorce is coming. Often the resistant spouse refuses to participate in the divorce (or simply feels they can’t) out of fear or anger. That means as the other spouse, (you) will be compelled to move forward even if they don’t want to. You can start a litigation case, which will cause more struggle and expense for the family or you can bring your partner to the mediation ( which is far less stressful, less expensive and is a great first step towards making your no-fault divorce go as smoothly as possible), or the collaborative process (like mediation, the collaborative process is usually a less expensive and always a confidential divorce alternative, conducted in a structured setting on your time table).

Mediation: A legal process of resolving differences with the guidance of a trained, impartial, neutral third party. During mediation sessions you and your spouse talk to each other directly about what you each want for yourselves and your children. I can play one of two roles in your mediated divorce:

Collaborative Process: A voluntary, non-adversarial alternative where each spouse hires his or her own lawyer. After meeting with their lawyers separately, both partners and their lawyers negotiate a divorce settlement agreement outside of court.

Above all, be kind and honest with your spouse, the parent of your children, and encourage him or her to participate freely and fairly with you in both of your best interests. Then be patient as hard as it may be, because your spouse will need time to process and to get to the place where he or she can rationally engage with you in the collaborative process or mediation.

I’m happy to do a free consultation to discuss with each of you how Van Tassel Law can help. Visit, VanTasselLaw to learn more.

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