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  • Laura L. Van Tassel, Esq.

THE IMPACT OF ANGER ON YOUR DIVORCE JOURNEY AND HOW TO DEAL WITH IT!


As a mediation lawyer, I know the end of a marriage can be a difficult and emotional time, and it's natural for people to feel angry about the situation.


Anger is a normal and healthy emotion, but when it is not properly managed, it can have a negative impact on your life before, during, and after divorce.


ANGER BEFORE A DIVORCE:

Before your divorce, anger may stem from feelings of disappointment, betrayal, or frustration with the relationship, which in turn can lead to stress, and other health problems such as high blood pressure, heart disease, and even weakened immune system.


It can affect your ability to make sound decisions and can lead to poor judgment, which can have long-term consequences, particularly in the legal aspect of the divorce process and in the way you approach the conversation with your partner about the divorce.

In addition, anger can lead to anxiety and depression, which can negatively impact your ability to cope with the challenges of being in a failing marriage.




ANGER DURING A DIVORCE:

During the divorce process, I have seen how uncontrolled anger can lead to hurtful words and actions. This anger may be directed toward the other party or the legal system, which can cloud your judgment and lead to impulsive decisions.


It can also make it difficult to communicate effectively with your spouse or their attorney, and can negatively impact your legal proceedings, leading to delays, increased costs, and even a breakdown in communication with the other party. All this just prolongs the process and makes it more difficult to reach a fair settlement.


And f all that isn't enough , it can also impact your child's well-being, as they might feel caught in the middle of your conflict. And as every parent knows, this type of distress can cause a range of physical and emotional symptoms.




ANGER AFTER A DIVORCE:

After the divorce is finalized, anger may continue as you adjust to your new reality and come to terms with the end of your marriage. This anger may stem from feelings of loss, betrayal, or regrets.


Uncontrolled anger can also harm your relationships with others, including your children and friends, as well as your future relationships.


Prolonged anger can lead to stress, which in turn can lead to health problems such as high blood pressure, heart disease, and even a weakened immune system. In addition, anger can lead to anxiety and depression, which can negatively impact your ability to cope with the challenges of moving on after a divorce.


As you can see, anger can be a dangerous enemy that can lead to an unhealthy level of stress and emotional distress, which can cause a range of physical and emotional symptoms so it’s vital to take steps to manage and channel this anger in a healthy way.




HERE ARE 9 PRACTICAL TIPS:


  1. FOCUS ON THE PRESENT: Try not to dwell on the past or worry about the future. Instead, focus on the present moment and what you can do to make it better.

  2. PRACTICE SELF-CARE: Taking care of yourself physically and emotionally is essential before, during, and after a divorce. This may include eating well, exercising, getting enough sleep, and seeking support from friends and family.

  3. PRACTICE EMPATHY AND KINDNESS: Remember that your spouse is also going through a difficult time, and try to understand their perspective. This can help you let go of anger and resentment.

  4. PRACTICE FORGIVENESS: Forgiveness is not about excusing the other person's behavior; it's about letting go of anger and resentment so you can move forward.

  5. SET BOUNDARIES: Learn to set boundaries with your ex and make sure you are taking care of your own needs.

  6. KEEP A JOURNAL: Writing down your thoughts and feelings can help you process them and gain insight into what you're going through.

  7. SEEK CLOSURE: Take the time to reflect on the past and find closure in the relationship.

  8. SEEK PROFESSIONAL HELP: Consider seeing a therapist or counselor to work through your feelings and learn healthy coping mechanisms.

  9. SEEK MEDIATION: Mediation is a process that allows both parties to communicate and negotiate in a neutral and safe environment, and it can be very effective in managing to communicate effectively with your spouse and finding solutions that are fair to both parties.




In conclusion, the end of a marriage can be a difficult and emotional time, and it's natural for people to feel angry about the situation. Ultimately, it is important to find healthy ways to cope with and express anger. With the right support, people can learn to process their anger and move forward in a positive way. As a mediation lawyer, I highly recommend seeking help and advice to manage anger before, during, and after a divorce.


At Van Tassel Law, My job in the mediation process is to help my clients channel that anger in a productive way, so they can make well-informed decisions and reach a fair and amicable resolution while protecting their rights and interests throughout the process.



If you would like to learn more please feel free to contact me at (201) 664-8566 or stop by www.vantassellaw to learn more.

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