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  • Laura L. Van Tassel, Esq.


Getting past the holiday season and entering the new year (new decade) is a time for a new beginnings. The New Year is a powerful symbol of a fresh start. The decade is over, your relationship is over, but your life is not. Let this be a time when you realize that you do still have a future ahead of you, despite the pain you’ve been through.

We often get told by people that it’s actually really hard being alone after divorce, but it doesn’t have to be. Sure, you do not have someone around you everyday, but doesn’t that give you the opportunity to start doing things that you never though you could do before? Being by yourself means you can now breathe and look out for yourself for a change. You are now given the opportunity to heal and start over on your terms. We can, of course, make the decision to change our lives on whatever day or time we choose. But when the New Year is so perfectly apt for starting afresh, why not use the opportunity to make those changes right now?

If you are unsure where to start, I have included some tips I hope you will find helpful:

Put the Focus On You (Not Your Ex)

You’ll never move on until you focus on the most person in your life – you. Make yourself a priority and stop focusing on what your ex is doing with their life.

Accept The Process

Accept that divorce is a emotional process and it will have its ups and downs. No two days are going to be the same and it’s completely OK to have a whole range of different emotions at different times (or even at the same time!). You will work through it though and there is always light at the end of the tunnel; so try to go with the flow and not get stuck on a particular issue or emotion.

Find Your Passions

When your divorce is finalized, you’re likely to find yourself with something you may not be used to – spare time.

Use this time wisely. Discover hobbies and passions you’ve lost along the way – not only will your mental health will thank you, but learning a useful new skill might open up your social life, make your some new friends, or make some extra money.


Set Goals for the Future

Don’t forget to set goals for your future and realistic time frames to achieve them. Goals will help to give you a purpose and something to focus on. It could be something simple like learning how to blog or finally overcoming your fear of flying – whatever you want! There is now nobody to stop you or judge you, and you are now given the opportunity to do the things you’ve wanted to for the longest time. Take advantage of it! The world is waiting for you to enjoy it!

If you’re going through a divorce right now or planning to divorce in the New Year, mediation can help you move on quickly and get you living your best life no time!

Divorce mediation is a cheaper alternative to divorcing through expensive family lawyers. It will also be much kinder and speedier than going through the courts. Call me today (201) 664-8566 for a confidential talk.

Wishing you a very Happy New Year !


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