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  • Laura L. Van Tassel, Esq.

Remember to take a breath

I give this advice to all my new clients and then remind them to take a moment and take a breath during divorce proceedings. Some clients come in and have very specific ideas as to what they want and the outcome. Others feel so overwhelmed they cannot begin to make decisions. It is important in both instances for you to stop, breathe deep and consider all of your options.

When transitioning from married to divorce is not easy and you need to remember that life continues. You cannot get to the end result, a divorce decree, without making many decisions.

One of the most concerning aspects of divorcing parties is where they will live after the divorce. I have had people come in and state that they are keeping the house no matter what only to realize during the divorce process that selling the house and moving is the better choice for them. Another aspect regards parenting time – sometimes this very important decision needs to have a trial period before making a more permanent arrangement. I had one matter where we were just about finished with all of the financial decisions when one party took a step back, deep breath and realized there was a different way to divide the funds and both parties were much happier with the outcome.

Taking the time to step back and think about your wants and needs is very important in life and certainly in the divorce process. Using a process such as medication or Collaborative process allows you take the time to step back and make certain the decisions you are making are right for you, your spouse and children. It allows you to take the time to process the transition you and your family are going through.

What you need to remember is to stop and think the decision all the way through. Everyone wants this process over as quickly as possible and with as little friction and difficulty as possible, but the quick decision may not be the right one for you, your spouse or children when you take a moment and think things through.

So, from the start to the end, always remember to take a moment to pause and reflect – and then move forward.

If you are interested in “A Kinder Approach To Life's Legal Issues” I encourage you to contact me at 201.664.8566 for a free half-hour consultation. I also invite you to explore to learn more about alternative dispute resolutions, that are kinder, easier, less costly alternative ways to divorce including meditation and collaborative process. These are family-friendly processes of negotiation that strive for a win-win resolution.

Working together in an atmosphere of respect and dignity, we will craft a mutually satisfying outcome for both you and your spouse in an informal though structured setting at your pace, with your privacy insured. If necessary, I will refer you to educational programs, financial planners, accountants, real estate agents or therapists who will help you build your future and create your new family dynamic.

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