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  • Laura L. Van Tassel, Esq.

You have decided to divorce. Now What?

The difficult decision has been made to divorce, now is the time to assess where you want to be, as you move from married and now back to single. You know divorce is going to change your life and the life of your family, so you no doubt have questions. And the list of concerns and fears is sometimes lengthy. I recommend taking a step back, take a deep breath. I am here to help with the all the steps along this path, which include finding the right process for you and your spouse whether it is mediation, collaborative divorce or some other process that will help you work out all of the issues and forge a plan and path into the future and a new family dynamic.

It’s Decision Time

So many decisions! And yet, what are those decisions? Each family is similar and unique at the same time. The issues – whatever they may be – will differ for each individual and family. They may include parenting time and custody of child/ren, they may include where everyone will live, how will we support ourselves and/or the children.

You will both need to start by looking at where you are in terms of assets (house, bank accounts, retirement accounts to name a few) and debts (credit card, medical bills, car expense are an example). You may also be concerned about health care insurance for yourself and the children.

Speaking with a caring, compassionate attorney who is knowledgeable about divorce and the many aspects can look at your options and work out a sensible resolution to these issues.

What about the children?

The children – where will they live, when will you see them and how do you divide up the responsibility and joy of parenting. Children are resilient however, they need to see the parents acting in a responsible manner which is hard to do with all of the emotional turmoil in a divorce. These decisions can seem daunting but working in a respectful manner can help to build a bridge to a new family dynamic and co-parenting. Mediation or collaborative process, reduces the turmoil and brings calm to difficult time is a key during the divorce process.

Holiday Traditions

Divorce often means that the old and familiar way to spend a holiday is no longer possible. It is a time of new beginnings which may mean making new traditions for the holidays. Keeping things in perspective and centering on the interest of the children while honoring extended family and holidays is an important part of the divorce process. Working out these issues in a calm, professional and respectful manner will set the framework for the future.

It doesn’t always have to be a fight, the holidays are stressful enough and working out a plan on how to handle the holidays in advance can help reduce some of that stress. Working together in a manner that leads to respectful input from both parents is important which is why you need to remain in control with an attorney by your side to help guide you through the holiday parenting time.

Can you get divorced without a lawyer?

People often ask me if they can get divorced, separate, figure out child support and alimony without a lawyer. Or they ask if we don’t have all of these issues can’t we just do it on our own?

What happens in your divorce will have an impact on your life for many years to come whether it is due to financial or emotional reasons. A lawyer does not have to cost you every asset you have – or if you have no resources – it does not have to send you into debt. There are different process to fit your needs. Mediation, collaborative process can actually save you time, money and emotional turmoil.

Van Tassel Law specializes in mediation, collaborative divorce and other methods of settling your divorce issues without litigation thereby allowing you to control your costs, time and settle the matter in a manner that is respectful and as peaceful as possible.

To lean more about Van Tassel Law and the mediation, collaborative process visit me at:

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